Spiritual Awakening of “White Angels” (Part 1)
humanity and rationality, Miaoxiao
Introduction
I am a retired obstetrics and
gynecology attending physician. Most of my life was spent in an
overworked void. I racked my brains to pursue status, fame and
fortune and was unscrupulous in my efforts to make money, busy
rushing around for several decades. I even betrayed my own conscience
and personality and lost my humanity and rationality, living without
any meaning. Until one day when I read the word of Almighty God and
saw the truth that I had been corrupted by Satan I gradually had a
spiritual awakening….
The Church of Almighty God was founded by Almighty God personally?
Yearning
for a Strong Pillar
I was born in the city of X.
My father was a veteran cadre, honest and loyal, with no real power
in his work place and my mother did not work. In 1972, when
graduating from high school, I took universal examinations and after
many selections, I was assigned to a large hospital in X city for
training and studies. Here I discovered that opportunities for
promotion are not determined by one’s medical ethics and skill, but
depend upon one’s connections and money. Again and again I saw
people around me obtain material benefits through their connections
and no matter how well I worked, because I did not have money or
connections, nothing good happened to me and I was always
discriminated against by others. To this end, I did not feel
good-tempered and I thought if only I could have a solid pillar, it
would be must better and I would be able to bring about an upswing to
my situation.
The
Fame and Fortune Which a “Behind-the-scenes Backer” Brought Me
One time, I inadvertently
heard my father mention to my mother that his friend had become vice
mayor in our city. Suddenly my eyes lit up. It was an unmissable
opportunity that would not occur again! I hurriedly asked my father
about his family’s situation, thinking: My family also had a
“behind-the-scenes backer” after all. I underhandedly set my
aspirations that I must make my mark through this connection. So I
recommended my dean to the deputy mayor and kept sending my dean some
small gifts. Afterward, the dean gave me the green light and arranged
many opportunities for me to show my talents. After all kinds of
examinations and assessments, I became an obstetrics and gynecology
physician with rich clinical experience and a certain reputation. In
this way, for several consecutive years, I got the city merit award
and the honorary title of the outstanding medical staff member and
gave lectures in the technical personnel classes of many hospitals.
This completely satisfied my vanity.
“Brainwashing”
by Corporate Cheats
In the past, I often thought
that the hospital was a place to save lives and help the injured and
that the profession of doctors was sacred. People called doctors
“white angels.” But when I really became a doctor, once I had
some understanding of the inside story of hospitals, I knew that this
wasn’t in fact the case. There is infighting amongst doctors. It is
a case of if you fight, I will struggle. They are all smiling
tigers—outwardly kind, but inwardly cruel, privately attacking and
excluding each other. Hospital management introduce pharmacists to
the hospitals for profit. In addition, hospital management take a cut
from them; even the Minister for Health and ministers from other
industries send people selling drugs to the hospitals and the
hospital management ask us to prescribe whichever drug has the
highest cut. The most detestable thing is that they actually invite
corporate crooks (people who do not understand medicine) to give us
medical staff lectures. They taught us how to welcome and wave off
people with smiles, deceitfully gain the trust of patients and their
family and find ways and means to get patients’ money. They also
asked us to do things which compromise our integrity, such as: invent
an illness where there is none; treat a small illness as a big one;
just use half the dose for infusions (but charge according to a full
dose), because in this way, the patient’s illness will reduce, but
will not get better as quickly and once the patient has spent almost
all their money, the dosage that should be given can be used and in
doing so, we can charge higher treatment and other fees. In short,
they told us that we must steal all of the patient’s money and that
this counts as being skilled. The cost of a day’s fees for these
corporate cheats was as much as tens of thousands of yuan and the
dean even referred to these liars’ absurd theories as industry
secrets.
I
Was Assimilated
After hearing this theory, at
the time I felt very angry: Patients who have an illness are already
suffering a lot. If we further “extort” money from them, then
what will happen to them? I did not want to join them in their evil
deeds doing such unconscionable things. But later I saw colleagues
eating luxury food and wearing luxury clothes, who had bought cars
and built buildings and who were living a high-quality lifestyle. I
looked again at my meager monthly salary, which was just enough to
cover living costs and felt somewhat unbalanced inside. This coupled
with colleagues coming to see me personally to show me the way to
enrich my family fortunes gradually distorted my outlook on life and
I could not help joining the ranks of those “extorting” patients.
Since then, I, like other doctors, prescribed large prescriptions and
randomly prescribed drugs. At first, I still had some sense of
conscience, but in the face of huge monetary profits, the little
compassion I felt was all gone. Gradually, I became more and more
fraudulent and learned how to size people up, making huge profits for
the hospital and filling my pockets too. Money became my lifeblood
and I saw patients as money. I made money for pleasure and enjoyment.
At this time, I changed from a conscientious doctor into a ruthless
“executioner.”
In addition to making bad
money from the hospital, I also extended my reach to outside the
hospital. From 1996, I spent my spare time visiting township
hospitals seeing patients and even stole medical equipment from
hospitals to carry out operations outside, like other doctors. In
addition, I also abused my position to prescribe more drugs and took
them to sell outside when practicing medicine. In this way, I was
busy running around making money. My income from outside the hospital
was three to four-times my normal salary. I was driven by interests
for seven years. Not until SARS occurred in 2003 did I finally stop
the external work.
Does
Money Equal Happiness?
No longer visiting patients
outside, my spare time increased. When the quiet of night came, I
often asked myself: What has so many years of running around actually
brought me? I always used to think that by having money, my family
would be happy and safe, but actually this was not the case at all.
Thinking back on my life so far, my husband saw I could make money
and hadn’t worked for almost thirty years; he spent full days
gambling in mahjong dens and also had an affair. He would usually
return home at three or four in the morning and I was so angry that I
would quarrel with him the whole day and even come to blows. After
arguing, tears bathed my cheeks. My daughter saw that I could make
money and from a young age, she was accustomed to eating well,
wearing designer clothes and using luxury cosmetics. From a young
age, she never cared about other people. When my daughter got
married, I bought a new apartment for her and she later yearned for
an apartment with an elevator and disliked the car that she drove and
wanted to replace it for a new one…. My daughter and son-in-law
desired more and more. When I could not meet their demands, they
cursed me behind my back…. Is this really the life that I want?
What has money actually brought me? Happiness? Security? Family
happiness? None of these things! And all these years I had done so
many unforgivable things and there was always a sense of fear in my
heart, afraid that a medical incident would occur one day. These
invisible pressures made me unable to breathe.
I do not know how many times I
had sighed: O Heaven, what is the point of people living? What is the
meaning of life? Surely I cannot be a money making machine? Money
could only bring momentary happiness, but it could not bring me real
happiness. It only brought me emptiness of the soul, a guilty
conscience, degenerate humanity and family disharmony. I was living
in a particularly painful and helpless way, but I was unable to rid
myself of my endless desires and even less able to rid myself of the
laws of survival of this evil society. I did not know which direction
I would take, nor did I know how long I could prop myself up for. I
felt particularly lonely and there was always an unprecedented sense
of loss in my heart. I do not know how many times I wanted to find a
place where there was no one else to cry….
God’s
Gospel Arrives and My Soul Awakens
I do not know when my daughter
started to believe in God, but one day she left a copy of a book, The
Scroll Opened by the Lamb in my home. I picked it up and flicked
through it and suddenly saw a passage: “There
is an enormous secret in your heart. You never know it there because
you have been living in a world without light shining. Your heart and
your spirit have been taken away by the evil one. Your eyes are
covered by darkness; you cannot see the sun in the sky, nor the
twinkling star in the night. Your ears are clogged with deceptive
words and you hear not the thunderous voice of Jehovah, nor the sound
of the rushing waters from the throne. You have lost everything that
should have belonged to you and everything that the Almighty bestowed
upon you. You have entered an endless sea of bitterness, with no
strength of a rescue, no hope of survival, left only to struggle and
to bustle about…. From that moment, you are doomed to be afflicted
by the evil one, kept far away from the blessings of the Almighty,
out of reach of the provisions of the Almighty, and you embark on a
road of no return. A million calls can hardly rouse your heart and
your spirit. You sleep deeply in the hands of the evil one, who has
lured you into the boundless realm, with no direction, with no road
signs. Henceforth, you have lost your original purity, innocence, and
started to hide from the care of the Almighty. The evil one steers
your heart in every matter and becomes your life. You no longer fear
him, no longer avoid him, no longer doubt him. Instead, you treat him
as the God in your heart. You begin to enshrine him, worship him, be
inseparable like a shadow of his, and mutually commit to each other
in life and death.”
“The
Almighty has mercy on these people who suffer deeply. At the same
time, He is fed up with these people who have no consciousness,
because He has to wait too long for the answer from humans. He
desires to seek, seek your heart and your spirit. He wants to bring
you food and water and to awaken you, so you are no longer thirsty,
no longer hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel the
desolation of this world, do not be perplexed, do not cry. Almighty
God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival any time. He is watching
by your side, waiting for you to turn back. He is waiting for the day
your memory suddenly recovers: becoming conscious of the fact that
you came from God, somehow and somewhere once lost, falling
unconscious on the roadside, and then, unknowingly having a father.
You further realize that the Almighty has been watching there,
awaiting your return all along. He longs bitterly, waiting for a
response without an answer. His watching is priceless and is for the
heart and the spirit of humans. Perhaps this watching is indefinite,
and perhaps this watching is at its end. But you should know exactly
where your heart and spirit are now” (“The
Sighing of the Almighty” in The Word Appears in the Flesh).
These words spoke of the pain
in my heart and were full of God’s clarion call to me. These warm
words comforted my heart and made me feel like I had found a father
who had been lost for many years. I was moved to tears. I thought
about this lifetime of striving for fame and fortune by any means and
destroying my own conscience to make money. But when I got these
things, my soul was empty and in pain, sad and helpless. I had taken
so many risks to make money and my conscience had gone in my striving
for profit. I lived more and more painfully and was often under high
mental pressure, resulting in frequent insomnia at night. The many
years of hard work had not brought happiness, but had been exchanged
for a broken family and distrust from loved ones…. At this moment,
holding the book in my hands, thinking back to the scenes of
affliction that I have felt from this world, the tears flowed
uncontrollably…. At that time, I suddenly remembered that this book
was left by my daughter and hurriedly called my daughter and asked
her to come and talk to me. My daughter came back and saw the book in
my hands and my red eyes, it seemed like she knew what I was thinking
and she said: “Mom, I know you are in a lot of pain. I can
understand how you feel now. Believe in God. Only God can resolve all
our pain. I have just started to believe in God too. I originally
intended to read the word of God and understand some truths and then
talk to you, but since you saw God’s words today, this is the time
that God has prepared for us….” My daughter then shared with me
God’s last days’ work. Through my daughter’s fellowship, I knew
that God came in the last days to utter truths to save people, that
is, to change people’s corrupt disposition, to completely save
people from Satan’s afflictions and to let people live under God’s
care and protection…. Thinking back to this period of time when my
daughter had not asked for money from me and on the contrary, was
more considerate and caring toward me, I saw that only God could make
her change in this way and I was sure that this was the voice of the
true God and happily accepted the last days’ work of Almighty God.
Read more: Is Eastern Lightning the Return of the Lord Jesus? The Church of Almighty God was founded by Almighty God personally?
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